Ho Ho Ho Ho's?

Unlike Robert, I believe in the Fatman. Because every Christmas I write a letter to the North Pole with my Christmas list. Christmas morning comes around, and presents mysteriously appear under the tree, signed to Goody from Santa. Same goes for the Easter bunny. Although, it’s been getting easier and easier to find the chocolates, I have to give props to the fat man and the bunny.

Then there's the tooth fairy. When I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled out back in the day, I put em under my pillow that night. I figured there at least worth $5 a piece. When I woke up the next day, I anxiously looked under my pillow to see how much was there. To my dismay, I found a sucker under my pillow. While sitting in bed looking at the sucker, I thought to my self, that bitch fucked me over, and not in a good way. Thinking more about, I’ve never seen the tooth fairy in my life. I always thought the tooth fairy was a girl, but fairy could mean the other kind of fairy, in the homosexual way. All these years I’ve been putting my teeth under my pillow, the tooth fairy (fag) has been under paying me for my ivory, and possibly juggling my nutz in the middle of the night. And that was the last time I put a tooth under my pillow.

Now it’s time for my quarterly segment of what really grinds my gears. You know what grinds my gears, well, I’ll tell ya, football players who can’t drink out of a water bottle. That’s right; the water boy shoots water into the player’s mouth. These guy’s are professional athletes who can’t take a drink of water on there own. Some of these players come from top notch colleges too. I guess they flunked that class on how to drink water from a water bottle.

Being a playboy playa like myself, it’s not easy. But after reading all this jazz on Tiger Tiger Woods, I gots to give some advice to all the Playa’s, Tomcats, and Pimps out there. And the advice is, get yourself a Ho Phone. If Tiger would have had a HO phone, his wife wouldn’t have given him a 9 iron in his ear for Christmas.
Al’ight playas listen up. The Ho phone is a separate phone from you main phone, not a contract phone, always prepaid, no paper trail. For you main phone, it’s ok to have a iphone, blackberry, any other bling bling mobile, but, the HO phone is a beat up, out of style phone. Reason being, your wife, girlfriend, boyfriends, wouldn’t think twice to look at it. And don’t be stupid and leave it out in the open.
As for Tiger, Christmas would have been different if he had a Ho phone. He would still be chewing on that light tender meat, instead of sipping it though a straw.
Playas, keep on playin. Hustlers, keep on hustling, and pimps, keep and pimping, couz pimping ain’t easy.